


Calculated Gamble

by aMAXiMINalist



Category: Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: F/M, Family talk, Headcanon Ryloth culture, Ryloth - Freeform, conception conversation, non-descript setting in the Syndulla's house, post-Empire, sex momentarily referenced
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-08
Updated: 2017-05-08
Packaged: 2018-10-15 23:33:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10559580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aMAXiMINalist/pseuds/aMAXiMINalist
Summary: Cham and Kanan have a talk over a desert tea to the ambience of young relatives."I can live without it and Hera probably told you she can live without it. I told myself, before I met Hera, I would never bring kids into the world of Empire. And even in a world of peace, I will not bring children.”





	

The aroma of tea teased Kanan Jarrus's nostrils as Cham placed a mug down in proximity. The man had a practiced theatrics in his gestures, to alert the sightless Jedi with domestic beats.

"Jixuan tea, brewed from the weed of the Jixuan desert. I suppose you could call it a Twi'lek caf. It wasn't enough to drink it at our  _Jasshi'rr._ We drank it every breakfast, every dinner." Perhaps Cham had inferred the specialness of Spiran caf by observing him and Hera sip it every morning they were together.

"Yes, I know this tea."

Kanan had sipped that tea from the carved wedding chalice a year ago.

"But do you know its history? Why it is crucial at the  _Jasshi'rr_ ceremony?"

"No." Kanan gave a light sip, not a fan of its automatic stinging bitterness but knowing the sweetness came later.

Cham tapped his finger on his mug to signify a momentum of a tale. "The Jixuan weed is one of the strongest plants on Ryloth, a vegetation in a desert. It thrives on warmth, just as a marriage does."

"Interesting." Actually, but don't _all_ vegetation thrive on warmth?

"And it is at its most virile when it is ready to spread its seeds across the desert, so that a few tiny spores, by some miracle, would find its own space and flourish into adulthood."

Now Kanan started to pinch the mug handle.

"Jedi, you could drink the tea only because its good for alertness. But you could also drink the tea because of its other famous property. It's especially potent when drunk before bed."

"I suspect your drift, Cham." Kanan couldn't assume the incoming subject too rashly but he still pressed his fingerprints on the mug handle. 

Cham's footsteps strolled toward the wall, the tea sloshing in his mug with his every step. There was the shift of a window opening, letting in the sound of youngsters outside. 

“Hera has spoken with me. And I know your decision.” 

Cham's "Decision" was punctuated with the laughter of a toddler Twi’lek giggling beneath the supervision of vocally doting in-law relatives. He had to admire Cham's coyness with the window.

He could afford to be upfront right now, after all, Cham was his family now, family in the Rylothian legal sense. “And I stand by it. Whether or not I want… it, I can live without it and Hera probably told you she can live without it. I told myself, eons before I met Hera, I would never bring kids into the world of Empire. And even in a world of peace, I will not bring children.” He was still figuring out how long before peace expires again. 

In the distance, a child, a niece, shrieked with playful laughter as her feet pattered across the ground, probably engaged in tag. Being married into relatives had its pros. He even humored young relatives, feigning affectionate smiles when they climbed uninvited onto his lap. He did appreciate that in-laws relatives trusted him enough to let him pluck their sobbing children from their arms to do a bouncy walk with a baby or two in his arms then plop them back into their parents' arms--done out of more familial politeness than a fondness for children. Force, he and Hera had rejected the wooden charms and beads thrust upon them, charms designed with the good luck to enhance conception. Hera was more upfront with a, "However good your intentions are, this is none of your kriffen business." None of the relatives' nagging even really influenced her. 

Cham slurped his tea and his footsteps did not return to the kitchen table. The veteran was staring out the window, at his family. “And I completely agree with what you and Hera decided. Empire in this world or not, it's perfect you don't want one.”

No trace of sarcasm in this man's inflection. Kanan rubbed his beard, a selective habit of cueing curiosity. _So he understands._  “Why are you telling me this?”

“Jedi, my wife and I would’ve never had my daughter if I knew we be at War.” Cham slurped his tea. "Perhaps it was better I never brought Hera Syndulla into this world."

That triggered a vision: a world where Kanan Jarrus wandered the Gorse streets, left Gorse to the whims of the Empire, and drifted to another planet, another moon.

Cham gave a deliberate sip. “What a gamble that was, having a daughter, wanting to continue a traditional bloodline. My wife and I drank the tea every breakfast and then she became full with Hera. But I knew I couldn't calculate that the galaxy would do to her. Yet I and my wife created Hera anyway. And then war comes and it could take Hera away like it took my wife. And even when it doesn’t take her away, what misery I brought her into. What misery when I abandoned her for the War. What a miracle she’s here with you today. But what a gamble I would not have done. What a gamble it was, when my beloved wife would become laden with a child Hera and I would never meet. In the middle of the War.”

Cham paused, as if to allow Kanan to listen to the jingle of wooden Ryloth toys and sand-stuffed rattles outside. 

“Jedi, the war has ended. But not my grief. And now the rest of my relatives are too eager to have babies ever since the Empire burned away." Cham gave a dreary _tsk._ "They’re all blessings, but it’s all a gamble I fear. Peace just makes everyone too comfortable with making gambles.”

Kanan took advantage of Cham's pause to simply sip his tea, letting the bitterness envelop his taste buds.

And that bitterness loitered in his mouth as Cham added, "You and my daughter know what's best. Know that I stand by what you and my daughter had recently decided."

Then a shriek. Kanan could sense a child, likely a distant nephew of Cham, tumbling down to the dirt and the frantic scrambles of parents scurrying to the howls of the child. And Kanan remembered how heavy Ezra Bridger felt as he carried him away from danger. That was not a weight he wanted to feel again. 

Over the sounds of a child's pain, Cham returned to the kitchen table and placed his mug down in a decisive clink. He smacked his lips, as if absorbing the residue sting of the tea, then sighed, as if some duty beckoned him away from peace.

“If you would excuse me, Jedi, I have to tend to my new nieces and nephews.” And Cham's footsteps faded and then Cham became a faraway voice on the outside. Kanan decided not to shut the window to mute the sounds.

By that time, the small nephew had stopped howling, reverting to innocent joy. He could feel the sighs of relief of parents. No knowing if the child had gotten better himself or the parents' attentive comforts were directly responsible for the quick recovery. 

He listened to Cham collecting children in his weary arms, teasing their abilities, singing war songs to them ("Fire doesn't die"), and there was no deception in the war veteran's inflection of his affections.

Swallowing more Jixuan bitterness, Kanan was left alone with a vision, or rather, in his days now, a premonition of her sounds and the pressure of her embrace. When Hera would land home, the home on the ground, and he would have the usual talk, whisper in her ear of a proposal, a committed revision, then await her answer. Then he would lie with her, a duty as a husband, an intimate past-time as her full-time lover. Tonight, he would be unsheathed, pulling the Ryloth woolens over them so the universe couldn't hear whatever they shared.

She'd taste the sweetness in his mouth.

**Author's Note:**

> The original Tumblr piece can be found [here](http://amaximinalist.tumblr.com/post/158972337318/a-post-empire-kanan-and-cham-flash-fic). Interesting to see how it evolved.  
> I also used [MapToWhereIAlreadyAm's](http://maptowhereialreadyam.tumblr.com/post/159307747894/need-input-trying-to-name-a-rylothian-tea) suggestion on naming the Ryloth tea in this story. The rest of the headcanon regarding the tea's history was made up on the fly.


End file.
